Tuesday, September 8, 2009


(click it to see the whole thing)

So, I made that. It's not really the best, 'cause I was working out to do something, and this was the outcome. It blatantly failed, but I think I like how it ended up especially the image on the right. I don't know, that's just me.

I'm having a weird kind of writers block. It's probably called as Selective Writers Block. I've been making good progress with the story I'm writing, but I cannot blog, write a poem, write a song, or anything else. It's a good thing, somehow. At least I can still write decently but I'm afraid to reread what I've written the past days. They feel all junk too me. Revision is absolutely needed.

Anyway, I was having a fancy chat with Eudes two nights ago, and there was something unforgettable in our conversation. I'll post it here with respect to Eudes. :p

xxheddaa.mclovin (9/8/2009 10:20:46 PM): Eudes?
eudes joshan (9/8/2009 10:20:50 PM): hm?
xxheddaa.mclovin (9/8/2009 10:20:53 PM): I like you.
eudes joshan (9/8/2009 10:21:03 PM): oh?
xxheddaa.mclovin (9/8/2009 10:21:07 PM): Sabi ni ****.
xxheddaa.mclovin (9/8/2009 10:21:07 PM): xD
eudes joshan (9/8/2009 10:21:14 PM): hahahaha
eudes joshan (9/8/2009 10:21:21 PM): :))
xxheddaa.mclovin (9/8/2009 10:21:27 PM): :))
xxheddaa.mclovin (9/8/2009 10:22:03 PM): Hinintay ko lang yung reaction mo. xDD
eudes joshan (9/8/2009 10:22:39 PM): hahahahaha
xxheddaa.mclovin (9/8/2009 10:23:01 PM): Pero seryoso, ano naramdaman mo nung sinabi ko yun?
xxheddaa.mclovin (9/8/2009 10:23:06 PM): wait natatawa talaga ako
eudes joshan (9/8/2009 10:23:17 PM): naramdaman q na may ka2loy un eh...
xxheddaa.mclovin (9/8/2009 10:23:22 PM): Ay shit.
xxheddaa.mclovin (9/8/2009 10:23:26 PM): Sayang.
eudes joshan (9/8/2009 10:23:27 PM): :))

So, my throat has been really bitchy for this week. I don't think I can shout tomorrow. It hurts everytime I talk, and the louder I get, the more it hurts. It's really bothering me, but I don't think I have to overreact. It's just a simple aching throat which randomly ached because of my non-existent habits. Have I mentioned that swallowing hurts? It does. It's extremely painful. I kind of imagined that my throat was scratched from the inside by an invisible claw monster, and now it has open wounds everywhere, therefore causing anything that hits an open wound hurt. It's like rubbing salt on a wound. If you haven't tried that, then you should. It's agonizingly fun.

Also, this week hasn't been the best week for me. :/ I'm sick and tired of all the crap that you put out on me, and I'm not blaming you for everything. I'm sorry that I actually give a damn about your health and welfare. You already know that OD isn't the solution and that it's bound to just make you worst. You don't have to be sober every night. :( What happened to the old you?

We also won the weight training competition. I'm glad. :)

Actually no, I'm not glad. I cannot deserve to be glad at this point of time. Everything is just meh. It's something I refuse to talk about, yet I should. I'm never the type to expose my unjustifiable feelings to anyone. It only makes things worst. About 95% of the population of whom I'll try to talk to regarding my problem would judge me and think I'm consistently overreacting. I am not. I'm a different individual and what may seem shallow to you will obviously seem like a big deal to me.

I'm definitely not going to just grin and bear it, and I refuse to believe that it will get better unless it will.